I didn’t lose my parents… they lost me.
(Source: littleprinceoftheforest)
Marijuana, cocaine, heroin, prescription pills, opiates……All of them?
admireevaseyes asked: John, what would you do if you caught one of your soldiers smuggling drugs?
Define “drugs.”
*over radio*
Hey, Boss—
I’m taking two of the more experienced recruits after Zadornov. His signal hasn’t moved for the last couple of hours, so we’re assuming he’s down for the night, or at least settled somewhere temporarily.
I’ll be handling dropoff and extraction personally - this guy’s…
I’ll be by in the morning to collect the recruits’ corpses.
Makes sense to me. Sex would feel too much like work if it… uh, waswork.Fun? I have a lot of fun. Like, there was this time where I… hmm, no…
Oh, this other time Kaz and some of the other soldiers, uh… wait, that wasn’t…
…hmm.
You don’t watch movies, you don’t get drunk, you don’t play cards, you don’t read….
So I trick you into bed so we can have a conversation afterwards when you’re full of endorphins.
You sly fo—…
…hmm. Not sure what I think about foxes anymore.
I rather like ferrets. They can be sneaky.
“You sly ferret” makes you sound… dirty, somehow. Not in a good way.
Makes sense to me. Sex would feel too much like work if it… uh, waswork.Fun? I have a lot of fun. Like, there was this time where I… hmm, no…
Oh, this other time Kaz and some of the other soldiers, uh… wait, that wasn’t…
…hmm.
You don’t watch movies, you don’t get drunk, you don’t play cards, you don’t read….
So I trick you into bed so we can have a conversation afterwards when you’re full of endorphins.
You sly fo—…
…hmm. Not sure what I think about foxes anymore.
Let me make this real easy for you to understand, EVA:
If we were all as sex-hungry as honeypots, there would be no honeypots because everyone would already be having sex all the time.
I DON’T
TRUST
HERShe’s too cute to be real!
That’s what you said about Dick Boss the first time you saw him, and look where we are now.
….*grumble grumble*
And for your information, not all honeypots are sex-crazed. A good number of us are celibate outside work.
And some of us just really like spending time with you, but we don’t know what else you do for fun.
Makes sense to me. Sex would feel too much like work if it… uh, was work.
Fun? I have a lot of fun. Like, there was this time where I… hmm, no…
Oh, this other time Kaz and some of the other soldiers, uh… wait, that wasn’t…
…hmm.
Let me make this real easy for you to understand, EVA:
If we were all as sex-hungry as honeypots, there would be no honeypots because everyone would already be having sex all the time.
I DON’T
TRUST
HERShe’s too cute to be real!
That’s what you said about Dick Boss the first time you saw him, and look where we are now.
iroquois--pliskin asked: SIR! Sorry for being late, what's today's assignment?
I need you to provide support for one of my stealth soldiers. He’ll be deployed to a hexagonal facility. I want you to get there before he does and make sure the way is clear. After a while, I’ll send Huey by in a chopper; you’ll rendezvous with him and decide how best to aid the soldier from there.
Let me make this real easy for you to understand, EVA:
If we were all as sex-hungry as honeypots, there would be no honeypots because everyone would already be having sex all the time.
